Kill the Lights

God bless the words, my eternal companions, the ones that understand my catharsis, that will heed me when I tell them that what is show in a certain song is not what really is there. The critics and comments don’t fly over their head – my words know me, from a to z. They know I’m deeply romantic, not the foolish kind that is blind and dull, rather the kind that dreams of adventure, conquest, the one that dreams with the Legion Étrangère, with deserts too big for the mind to conceal, romantic as in believing in love and… well, perhaps I’m blind and foolish, I’m not sure – glad that my words are. They know me.

They will be content listening and arguing metaphors and quasi-philosophical remarks of a movie I’ve just seen. We will have a conversation and I’ll not feel like I’m talking alone. Alone. That if the funny thing of words, no matter how many of them you have, no matter how extensive your lexical library is, you will always be short of something – maybe it is human nature, but they can never fill the blank left by missing hugs and kisses. The embrace of the words is a lone embrace, one done in a dark room while talking to oneself, where the only light is that of the computer screen, brightly in the shroud.

I guess it is just like the song says… Kill the lights, because these children learn from pain, danger, shallow and intoxicating cheap trash, it feels right so they dive in, they take the bite, self-medicated, asphyxiated, all they want is to feel alright, and nobody is there to show them the way.

I don’t want to be a dull ragdoll, I’m not willing to sacrifice my eyes, my soul, for button-eyes, making see a made-perfect world, because it is far from perfect, it is a hellish place where the only way to survive is to remove one’s eyes. Because if you see all the horrors, if you carry all that memory, you go mad, screams boil underneath your skin, your body aches without any injuries for only your heart has been hurt. The web they weave is yours to choose to walk or not – and if you find a key to lock their world, you and only you will have the option (and the choice) of locking it away forever. Find your own well, a hole so deep that you could look into it and see starlight, throw the key in with a heavy rock, bury it all away, their world won’t live past this day.